I also had to reconcile this in my mind as i studied the times that Jesus exhibited anger and this is what i discovered.
Jesus' anger was never to defend self. He was insulted, doubted, persecuted, spit upon, crucified but he was never angry for these personal reasons.
But He really got upset when anyone offended God. Like the traders who decided to set up shop in God's holy temple, or the pharisees who gave the people impossible laws to follow, or when the mother of James and John lobbied for a heavenly seat for their son. He spoke harshly to the pharisees when they blasphemed against the Holy Spirit.
Most of the reasons we get angry are selfish. Sometimes it can't be avoided but then it must be put aside immediately and it must be resolved before the sun goes down.
It will do us good to follow Jesus' example.