It happens. Just thank God if in your heart of hearts it has never happened to you as a Christian. But many Christians have experienced those unruly thoughts and strange desires that are improperly directed towards someone that shouldn’t be?
A Christian Married man …. Another woman
A Christian Married Woman …. Another man
A young Christian Man ….. A friend’s fiancé
A counselor ….. A Counselee of the opposite gender
Deadly options, unrighteous thoughts, recipes for disaster; but may God have mercy, they happen. Some great men of God have even fallen flat on their faces because of these unbridled desires. So it is dangerous to sweep it under the carpet with a holy smile and pretend it is not real.
What do we do? First is to realize that every sin starts in the realm of the thoughts. That is why Jesus said, if a person has lustful thoughts he has committed adultery already. The beginning of the solution is to identify those thoughts as sin, not even a weakness, sin! Confess them to God as such.
Then change your location. Most of these desires are fed by sight and association. Tone down the friendship, stop visiting the house, hand the person over to another counselor. The bible says if your right hand will cause you to sin, then it is better you cut it off. I heard the personal testimony of a married brother who actually changed his job because he was attracted to a woman in his office. They worked together everyday and even though he loved his wife, he couldn’t understand those feelings, so he took a wise decision and moved to another company.
Talk to someone about it. Seek out someone that can be trusted and is also spiritually mature enough to counsel and pray through with you. That person may actually be your spouse. But be careful and allow God to lead you to someone who can carry this burden with you. Sometimes these desires thrive in an atmosphere of secrecy. Imagine if everyone including your Pastor could see your thoughts; they will probably be different. So expose this and see God give you victory.
Cut off anything that feeds these desires – Soap Operas, any movie that has a hint of blue, erotic novels, pornography. These must go so that they do not belittle the value of the precious blood of Jesus that was shed for us.
The Holy Spirit is your helper. Let him help you deal with the desires and to help you take practical steps to make sure that they do not recur.
It is well and keep on living for Jesus alone.